


Zach *Is* The Pornstar Next Door - The TryPod Ep. 28.5

by madamecrimson



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: Fanfiction, M/M, Other, Porn, Spoilers, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 02:27:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21348733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamecrimson/pseuds/madamecrimson
Summary: Disclaimer: I cannot even blamed for this one as it is directly based off of an unfinished conversation between Zach and Miles on the most recent episode of The TryPod, and takes place right after the episode ends. I believe the episode was filmed on Halloween.(Please find my sarcastic and smarmy author's notes at the end lol. Nothing to be taken too seriously. XD).
Relationships: Keith Habersberger/Zach Kornfeld
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	Zach *Is* The Pornstar Next Door - The TryPod Ep. 28.5

Transcript Snippet from "Zach Meets the Pornstar Next Door - The TryPod Ep. 28" 

Please note: As a bit of this section of the episode involved some talking over each other and unfinished sentences, I've cut some parts out. 

_"Okay, well what do you think a Try Guys porn would be about?" Zach asked with a giggle._

_"Alright Keith is at this house--" Miles began excitedly, hand gestures at the ready. _

_"Is it--is it the four of us, uh, realizing that it's time to have sex with each other?" Zach interjected, almost matter-of-factly. _

_"I think it would be like you're alone at your house," Miles said to Zach._

_"Oh wow," Zach replied quietly as Miles continued. _

_"You're the protagonist." _

_"Wow," Zach said, impressed. _

_Keith crossed his arms and smirked, amused. _

_"Yeah, you get a late night text," Miles went on. _

_"That's huge too because that means people watching either want--like I'm the object of desire or I'm the the vehicle--" Zach continued. _

_"Right," Miles agreed. _

_"Of--what would you call that, like I'm the one that you see yourself in," Zach finished. _

_"Yes, yeah, and Keith can't sleep, obviously," Miles went on._

_"You're the vehicle to get to Keith," Rachel joked._

_"It is a weird thing to see--we'll stop talking about porn in a second," Zach went on, eliciting a laugh from Miles, "--but that you find the person that like I want to watch this person have sex with that person and I'm going to pretend that I'm that person. Isn't that weird?"_

_The rest of the episode continued with a mocking of the fans wanting to insert themselves into sex stories about the Try Guys, and a smattering of other things including a reminder to subscribe and a short verbal preview of their Australia-based episodes to come._

When they were done recording the episode, the crew began taking down the equipment. Zach slid off his chair and approached Miles. 

"So uh, what were you thinking of for the rest of that story?" he asked, feigning innocence. 

Miles chuckled. "I don't know. Aren't you worried I'm just a fangirl pretending to be you so I can fuck Keith?" 

"Everyone wants to fuck Keith," Zach replied. 

"Apparently," Miles chided, wagging his eyebrows suggestively at Zach. 

Zach blushed, attempting to deflect by bringing the burden back on Miles. "Come on Miles *Boner*signore. I know you wanted to finish it." 

Keith appeared behind Zach, looking down pointedly at Miles. "Looks like I'm not the only one," Miles replied with a laugh, looking up a Keith. 

"Alright alright, come on," said Miles, sitting back down. Keith and Zach sat down as well. 

"So," Miles began...

Zach was alone in his apartment that night, more amused than annoyed that Maggie had taken off for a Vegas trip with Becky without telling him. 

He tossed and turned in bed. It was 3:00 AM and he couldn't stop thinking about baking without a recipe. When were you supposed to use shortening instead of butter? Wait...is shortening dairy? What is shortening? 

He was broken out of his thoughts by the sound of his phone buzzing. He reached over to find a text from Keith. He put on his glasses so he could read more clearly. 

"Can't sleep :( ," it said. 

"Me either," Zach texted back. "What is shortening?"

"Any fat that is a solid at room temperature and used to make crumbly pastry and other food products. Are you thinking about baking again?" Keith had typed. 

"Did you just copy that from Wikipedia? And does that mean it's dairy?" Zach replied. 

"I don't know. I didn't open the full article," Keith returned. 

Neither sent any sort of message for the next few minutes. 

"Want to come over?" Zach messaged. 

"Sure," Keith replied. "Just give me a few minutes." 

Zach set his phone down and laid on his back. Stupid baking. He grabbed his phone, slid out of bed, and walked into the living room where Bowie was fast asleep. He sat down on the couch, playing a game on his phone until Keith arrived. His phone buzzed again a little while later.

"I'm here," said the message from Keith. 

Zach opened the door and Keith stepped inside, wearing pajamas and a pair of slippers. 

"You didn't put on shoes?" Zach asked, shutting the door behind Keith. 

"Slippers are easier to put on," Keith replied and Zach found he couldn't argue with that. 

The two returned to the living room, easing down onto the couch. 

"I bet Maggie and Becky are having a lot more fun than we are," Zach complained. 

"Yeah," Keith agreed. "We could have taken Ned to the casinos if he didn't get so cocky." 

Zach laughed in reply. "Yeah, and Eugene would have found the best shows for us to go to." 

"You know," Keith said softly. "Before Becky left, she gave me a hall pass." 

"A what?" Zach asked, appearing confused. 

"A hall pass. You know, where your wife or girlfriend says you can sleep with a specific celebrity if you meet them?" Keith replied. 

"Ohhh yeah," Zach said. "Maggie calls it a permission slip." 

"So she gave you one too?" Keith inquired. 

Zach nodded. "Mine's not for like...a celebrity celebrity though. I mean, you're not going to be seeing them at the Oscar's any time soon." 

Keith laughed. "Mine's not either." 

"So...who's yours for?" Zach ventured, looking up at Keith. 

Keith met Zach's gaze, staring at him intensely. Zach suddenly felt very warm. 

"A YouTuber," Keith replied, his eyes steadily on Zach. "Yours?"

"M-mine too," Zach stuttered. 

The remained like that for what felt like a long time. Neither was sure of when it happened, or who initiated it, but suddenly their lips were pressed together, arms and legs tangled around one another. Keith pulled Zach to the floor so that he could stretch out his long legs and he drew Zach flush against him. He slipped his tongue into Zach's mouth, and ripped off Zach's shirt. Zach moaned softly, running his tongue along Keith's as he tore off his shirt as well. They quickly removed one another's pajama pants, now entirely bare except for their boxer briefs. Keith's large hands roamed over Zach's skin, grasping his ass at points, and tenderly cradling his neck at others. Zach pressed his cock against Keith's, his hands moving gently yet eagerly over Keith's back. Again, they were unsure exactly how it happened but soon their boxers had joined the clothes strewn all over the floor. Keith lightly gripped the base of Zach's cock and pulled back to look at him. 

Zach stared back at Keith, a bit breathless. Zach's hair was a mess, his glasses askew, and his lips were lightly bruised. He leaned in to kiss Keith's lips gently and pulled back to give him a silent nod. Zach groaned deeply as Keith's hand began moving along his length. With trembling fingers, Zach wrapped his hand around Keith's cock as well, stroking along it to match Keith's pace. He began nipping lightly at Keith's neck, feeling something primal awaken inside him when he heard Keith say "Harder." Zach began biting at Keith's neck, enough for him to feel a pleasurable pain but not enough to hurt him badly. Keith bucked into Zach's hand, Zach's touches growing faster in reply. He thumbed along the head of Keith's cock causing the taller man to shudder. Keith stroked Zach more roughly, his other arm slipping protectively around Zach's waist, his other hand moving down to grab and massage Zach's ass. Zach whimpered against Keith's skin, writhing with need into Keith's hand. Zach ran his tongue along Keith's neck, flicking the tip of it across Keith's earlobe. It was too much for Keith to handle and soon he came hard, shaking with a last few final rolls of his hips, Zach's name a light whisper that fell from his mouth. Still though, one of his hands is tightly grasped Zach's cock, drawing out whimpers of pleasure and curses of need. When Keith lightly dipped a finger into in between Zach's cheeks, the smaller man buried his face into Keith's chest, cursing his name as he spilled over Keith's palm. 

The two laid there as they calmed. Keith reached a long arm over to pluck his shirt off the floor. He wiped off his hands and then handed his shirt to Zach to do the same. Zach hesitated but Keith shook his head. 

"Trust me. It's seen worse," Keith told him. 

They finally stood, picking up their discarded clothes. 

"You know, it's pretty late," Zach commented. "I'm getting kind of sleepy." 

"Me too," Keith replied. 

They looked up at one another and wordlessly made their way into Zach's room. It may have been pointless for them to pick up their clothes as now they just got tossed onto Zach's floor. They did lean down and put their boxer briefs back on though. Zach climbed into bed, and Keith slid in behind him. A few tense second later, Keith's arms slipped around Zach's waist, pulling Zach close against him. Zach's breath hitched, but he soon relaxed against Keith's warmth. He shivered a little when he felt Keith lightly kiss the back of his neck. 

"Night Zach," Keith mumbled. 

"Night Keith," Zach whispered as the two drifted off to sleep. 

..."Yeah, probably something like that," Miles finished with a grin. And it's hard for him not to laugh, as Zach and Keith are both red-faced, their mouths gaping open. He's never seen them speechless before. 

"I-I should probably go home and feed Bowie. He's got a bit appetite," Zach laughed nervously, nearly sprinting out of the room. 

Keith cleared his throat. "And I should go home and feed--myself," he said, quickly leaving as well. 

Miles and Rachel shared a knowing look. 

"Happy Halloween!" Miles said darkly.

**Author's Note:**

> "It is a weird thing to see--we'll stop talking about porn in a second--but that you find the person that like I want to watch this person have sex with that person and I'm going to pretend that I'm that person. Isn't that weird?" ~ Zach Kornfeld, 2019
> 
> So...in the fic, you can see some of the original context for this quote in the snippet I transcribed. It appears *after* he asks what a Try Guys porn would be like, *after* he suggests that it would involve all of them realizing that it's time to fuck each other, and *after* Miles starts crafting a story. In fact, he *interrupts* Miles' story-telling with this quote. I'm just sayin'. ;) 
> 
> Not to mention the fact that he was the one who had insisted on them doing a video featuring them reading and acting out fanfic. I'm just sayin'. ;) 
> 
> And, even further, in one of their live shows, he crafted a part 2 to one of the fanfics featured in their fanfic video. I'm just sayin'. ;) 
> 
> So, when he asks, "Isn't that weird?", is he really asking us...or himself? I'M JUST SAYIN'. XD


End file.
